The moments before you step on the scale and the second before the number stops all sorts of silliness runs through your head especially if you've avoided the scale for a while - usually along the lines 'ok if it's less than this i will be so so happy/surprised' In my head just now i was thinking how last time it went up two pounds and it knocked me for six as i really hadn't seen that coming. I knew i wasn't being strict enough but never dreamed i would actually put on weight from it. I went away for the summer and put on a whole stone! We just never really did anything and wherever we went we would drive there i didn't realised how much exercise i did every day just walking around London!
Let's cut a long and pointless story short - the last time i weighed myself i was 9st 6lbs (i'm not sure when exactly but more than a week ago) and today i was 9st 3lbs of course this is only 2lbs off the weight i was before summer it still feels as though i am steadily going in the right direction. I have lost a total of 12lbs since the beginning of October.
I'm watching 'running in heels' to try to inspire my inner fashionista haha. I have come to realise that because i am so unhappy with many different things i cover my entire body - i wear baggy jeans(well they used to be baggy) long sleeved tops and long cardigans, beanie hats and big scarves - covering me head to toe. This means i throw clothes on and hide my hair entirely so end up putting on mascara and running out the house. Because i don't talk to anyone at university i feel like no one can see me (weird i know) I own really nice clothes but i can't fit into any of them so maybe when i have lost the weight i will feel able to wear nicer things and not hide myself away. I went out last week (shock horror) and a few guys were even chatting to me - i even had a conversation with one of them and it made me feel pretty good. I felt pretty shit at first because you get it into your head that it takes so much effort on your part before someone Will look twice at you. I had a full face of make up and straightened hair etc (i still wore a hoody in a club) but i realised that it's probably the absence of my moody face and attitude that made all the difference. I have decided that one of my resolutions next year will be to just make a little effort - i felt so much better being out and not feeling 100% hideous.
So here is a tip - always dress like you wouldn't be mortified if you bumped into your ex or the old school bully or prospective employer! You will feel much better if you take the time to straighten your hair, shave your legs and moisturise. Now when you achieve that perfect body you'll already have all the finishing touches sorted
Don't display yourself in a way that you are embarrassed to be seen!
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